You heard most of this I guess in my first blog, but I'm going to go a little beyond that. To my feelings.
It's not easy to put into words, mostly because I don't even understand how I am feeling myself. Bear with me when I try to explain it. It's the feeling of hopelessness, like I know I will never be good enough or important enough, I'll never earn enough money, I will never make something out of myself. It's the feeling of continuous rage, that the smallest things can set me off and reduce me to tears. It's the feeling of hollowness and absolute loneliness. It's the feeling of never wanting to wake up again.
I've always preferred to be alone. Because I can only depend on myself. I feel safe, in my small, cozy room.
But I don't know if I am safe from myself.